Thursday, March 05, 2009
Letter written by Lakewood bochur who overdosed, weeks before his passing
The following letter was written by Lakewood bochur Shua Finkelstein hy'd weeks before his death
There is thing called child molestation that we have all heard of we all know it happens in different places we all know maybe priests or that creepy uncle.Let me tell you a little about this thing and first hand what it can do to a kid. A frum child is molested he knows nothing about tummah and kedusha all he knows is that he was violated that his body is a toy thats what gets engraved into his brain not that he is a person worthy of respect but that he is an object a tool.
This kid grows up he knows nothing of sex all he knows is that he is dirty and that his rabbis say sex is bad he doesn't understand he thinks he is bad any mussar shmooz he hears it directly at him and this innocent kid begins to believe of himself as a bad person.Nobody likes being bad he will look for a place with no expectations of him a place were he can be free to fit in a world where everybody is bad….Chances are he will either convince himself this is the normal and pass it in to another innocent child or he will resort to rebelling to prove to himself he is as bad as he thinks he is……Often he will find drugs to take him away to give him an escape from his horrible reality….
That being said…Did you ever notice a support our troops symbol on the back of somebody's car? do you know what that represents? that means that thousands of miles there are people no different then yourself fighting a war and that we support them that gives them the morals they need to keep doing what they must do in order to protect us.I dont expect to see "save our kids" on the back of all of our cars but is it too much to ask that each and everyone of us do our part???
I will not mention names but there was one play group accused cased closed and dealt with. thats a start but that should send a chill down your spine theses are kids we are talking about…. there is another play group that is still open after over 5 cases have been brought against it!!!!! do you love your kids???? theses are the same kids that some vaad in lakewood will put in ad in the paper to protect from cellphone texting or god forbid a concert but did you see an ad sayingGuard your kids!!!!?DO research!!!!! If your in doubt dont send them there!A play group that has had 5 allegations against it is still open????? Of course its there parnasah we are so worried about…
Maybe i should fill you in on some facts there is a jewish rehab whose name i will not mention that deals with kids whose lives are in danger i spoke to the intake administrator there about the cliental from Lakewood and i was told 99.% of all kids from lakewood Yes lakewood our holy town who doesn't allow text messaging were molested in this town!!!!! and that is what led to there addiction! now some facts of this rehab which has a high success rate 50% dont stay clean and out of all the jewish kids there that leave and relapse there is an average of 3 jewish souls that die a year!!! Murdered by you and me and all of us unwilling to take a stand against these people in our community the rabbis are scared to do anything? its political?? how dare they say that?? this is life and death we are killing kids over here we are condemning them to a life of misery of lonely depression and god forbid of passing on this horrible sickness.
IT IS YOUR DUTY as a Jew, As a Human to find these people in our community and no longer let them live among us!!!! 'Oy le rosha Oy le schayno' I think over here we are all the reshoim if we sit back and do nothing!! and if you dare say you are worried that people in play groups will lose there jobs there is some math you may want to do. a rehab a 6 month program to give a molested kid a chance $5,000 per months totals $30,000 now this place on average has 20 kids per six months thats $60,000 do you want me to count in the average fee of therapy $150-per hour????? or maybe you want the numbers i got from the local funeral homes??????
WAKE UP!!!!!! Ask yourself honestly is it that you are truly concerned about this just isn't your place or do you just not know what to do? I think trying to be worried about innocent money just went the window….This cannot be hidden any more!!!!! you know something speak up!!! have you been thru this??? share your story, help create support groups Help publicize this letter share your story…. If you are an offender seek help it can be done your amends will not be easy but it can be done.You can make one fatal mistake and that is to try and hide and think you will get passed by come out help fix the wrong before you will no longer have that chance EVER.If we all get together as a town to help weed this community it can be done with minimal damage. Anybody innocent who may receive slight setbacks because of this consider it your part in saving a life.
ASHRECHA,
Shua Finkelstein
From 7fatcow.com
Comments:
"spoke to the intake administrator there about the cliental from Lakewood and i was told 99.% of all kids from lakewood Yes lakewood our holy town who doesn't allow text messaging were molested in this town!!!!!" does he mean 99% of all lakewood kids were molested? i dont believe that for a sec.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by 
: March 05, 2009 10:53 AM
: March 05, 2009 10:53 AM
Anon @10:53,
No, that's not what he means. He wrote that 99% of all the kids in REHAB were victims of sexual abuse. You need a course in reading comprehension.
No, that's not what he means. He wrote that 99% of all the kids in REHAB were victims of sexual abuse. You need a course in reading comprehension.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 05, 2009 3:19 PM
: March 05, 2009 3:19 PM
he meant 99% of the kids from lakewood who are in rehab, are there because they were molested. not that 99% of kids in lakewood were molested.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 05, 2009 3:28 PM
: March 05, 2009 3:28 PM
he means who r in the rehab from lakewood
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 05, 2009 3:41 PM
: March 05, 2009 3:41 PM
he meant 99% of all people in that center were from lakewood.
This is very saddening.
This is very saddening.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 05, 2009 3:50 PM
: March 05, 2009 3:50 PM
no he meant 99.9 percent of the kids in that rehab were from lakewood
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 05, 2009 3:59 PM
: March 05, 2009 3:59 PM
no!! he meant 99% of lakewood kids in that rehab were molested, not 99% of lakewood kids are in rehab, also not 99% of the rehab are lakewood kids.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 05, 2009 4:41 PM
: March 05, 2009 4:41 PM
How sad to read about the gut-wrenching pain these victims suffer through, what a shame he couldn't be saved from this terrible tragedy.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 05, 2009 6:11 PM
: March 05, 2009 6:11 PM
so sad! i knew him quiet well
was in yeshiva with him wat a nice kid, always a smile, always there for people, sucha nebach!
may he be a mailetz yosher for all klall yisrael!
was in yeshiva with him wat a nice kid, always a smile, always there for people, sucha nebach!
may he be a mailetz yosher for all klall yisrael!
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 05, 2009 6:17 PM
: March 05, 2009 6:17 PM
i was thinking of posting some smart ass comment about what this poor soul wrote. then i realized the culprit are these frummer than thou rabbis that are sick and frusterated. its about time someone does something about it. one cannot hide behind the beard and payos for ever.
Hmm. How do we know he really wrote this?
I can right anything and put it in the name of anyone who recently died.
I can right anything and put it in the name of anyone who recently died.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 05, 2009 11:39 PM
: March 05, 2009 11:39 PM
You can only right some things, but you can write anything.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 06, 2009 1:21 AM
: March 06, 2009 1:21 AM
How do we know he really wrote this?
We do our research.
It wasn't originally put up on the internet by some anonymous shmo on the internet. It was posted on the facebook group in his memory by a very close friend of his. Shua's sister Shira is aware of the article as well. I think these folks have a chezkis kashrus. But if it's important, you can verify everything by contacting the people who were close to him.
In any event, the point he made is quite poignant.
We do our research.
It wasn't originally put up on the internet by some anonymous shmo on the internet. It was posted on the facebook group in his memory by a very close friend of his. Shua's sister Shira is aware of the article as well. I think these folks have a chezkis kashrus. But if it's important, you can verify everything by contacting the people who were close to him.
In any event, the point he made is quite poignant.
oh sure, he wrote that weeks before he died, someone found it now, gave it to chaptzem to publicize it on the blog! what a piece of balogny, yeah, child molestation is a hot topic that brings lots of bloger comments (me too, see?) but this chaptzem publicity stunt has lots of holes!
i can also write a nice letter in the name of someone who died to attract attention & comments
i can also write a nice letter in the name of someone who died to attract attention & comments
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 06, 2009 7:17 AM
: March 06, 2009 7:17 AM
This is a rant by someone who abused drugs which fry the brain. Anything said by this person may be the result of delusions. (it may 100% true or 100% false.)
This letter should not have been posted!
This letter should not have been posted!
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 06, 2009 8:41 AM
: March 06, 2009 8:41 AM
People who are troubled frequently tend to find causes to attach their troubles to, so as to find meaning in their lives.
I am not certain that this poor soul wrote the letter, but it's likely that he did, and in any event it's hard to attach much significance to anything in it, especially considering the rambling and barely coherent nature of the writer's thought process.
I also disbelieve all the factual claims made in the letter, including his alleged interviews with local funeral homes etc.
People have interpreted this letter as an indication that this kid was molested/abused, but I don't see any evidence of it. Other than possibly the reference to "first hand" at the outset, but considering the lack of focus on anything first hand in the entire letter - despite the plea for any victims to share their stories he himself did not do so here - makes me think he meant first hand in that he knows other kids in that circumstance. Especially considering the generally poor and imprecise use of language throughout the letter.
In sum, this kid's life and death were undoubtedly tragic, but this particular letter is not worth anything at all.
Sorry to say it.
I am not certain that this poor soul wrote the letter, but it's likely that he did, and in any event it's hard to attach much significance to anything in it, especially considering the rambling and barely coherent nature of the writer's thought process.
I also disbelieve all the factual claims made in the letter, including his alleged interviews with local funeral homes etc.
People have interpreted this letter as an indication that this kid was molested/abused, but I don't see any evidence of it. Other than possibly the reference to "first hand" at the outset, but considering the lack of focus on anything first hand in the entire letter - despite the plea for any victims to share their stories he himself did not do so here - makes me think he meant first hand in that he knows other kids in that circumstance. Especially considering the generally poor and imprecise use of language throughout the letter.
In sum, this kid's life and death were undoubtedly tragic, but this particular letter is not worth anything at all.
Sorry to say it.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 06, 2009 9:14 AM
: March 06, 2009 9:14 AM
Whether this specific young man was or was nor abused is irrelevant to the discussion.
What is glaringly relevant is the truth that we are more concerned in stopping the Lipas of this world and less concerned in stopping the Kolko and the Mondrowitz types who are still very much around in large numbers.
What is glaringly relevant is the truth that we are more concerned in stopping the Lipas of this world and less concerned in stopping the Kolko and the Mondrowitz types who are still very much around in large numbers.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 06, 2009 12:26 PM
: March 06, 2009 12:26 PM
It's ridiculous to say that "we" are more concerned with Lipa than with various molestors. There are different people out there with different causes and interests, and you can't expect every single person in the world to ignore every other cause until the child molestation rate has been reduced to zero.
In addition, the Lipa ban did not exactly take an enormous amount of time and effort to actuate. The amount of communal time and effort spent on Lipa (& Slifkin and any number of similar endeavors) is outstripped by the amount of time and effort spent on child abuse issues by a ratio of 100 to 1. And this specifically includes some of the most prominent opponents of Lipa, some of whom are known to devote enormous amounts of time to abuse and similar issues.
You may disagree with the approach that these people take, but they deal with it. Anyone who claims otherwise is simply ignorant, or blinded by hatred.
What this is really about is that some people have a hangup about their notion that the rabbis are covering up for abusers etc. etc. and will use any and every opportunity to try and squeeze the issue in, no matter how detached from reality.
In addition, the Lipa ban did not exactly take an enormous amount of time and effort to actuate. The amount of communal time and effort spent on Lipa (& Slifkin and any number of similar endeavors) is outstripped by the amount of time and effort spent on child abuse issues by a ratio of 100 to 1. And this specifically includes some of the most prominent opponents of Lipa, some of whom are known to devote enormous amounts of time to abuse and similar issues.
You may disagree with the approach that these people take, but they deal with it. Anyone who claims otherwise is simply ignorant, or blinded by hatred.
What this is really about is that some people have a hangup about their notion that the rabbis are covering up for abusers etc. etc. and will use any and every opportunity to try and squeeze the issue in, no matter how detached from reality.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 06, 2009 1:37 PM
: March 06, 2009 1:37 PM
i just want to say that all of you who are saying that this is bull ahit because you dont wanna beleive the truth that is staring you in the eyes have to realise that you are being manipulated by the satan and i hope for all of you that you realise your mistakes before you go and join him in hell. becuase if you don't get off your high horse and face reality you are going to BURN!!!
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 06, 2009 2:38 PM
: March 06, 2009 2:38 PM
To sit here and listen to the comments made about firstly, this issue, secondly, about my friend who unfortunately passed, makes me want to run away from Judaism. Do you guys realize what is coming out of your disgusting mouths. You should be ashamed of yourselves!! Those who are incapable of reading english, hold your comments to yourself, and those rabbis who know WE WILL GET YOU and are trying to cover the story, YOU BETTER START RUNNING AND NOT WAIST TIME COMMENTING ON A CHILD THAT YOU CAN BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS DEATH.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 08, 2009 4:16 PM
: March 08, 2009 4:16 PM
I am a close friend of shua for 15 years and counting, and I want to say that he did write this letter. I spoke to his father, and I was told that he was about to open an organization called ASHRECHA. Also he was not on drugs when he wrote this letter he was clean for six months. Also what RIGHT does ANYONE have to judge ANYONE. I hope you never go through anything like he did... DONT JUDGE YOUR FRIEND UNTIL YOU ARE IN HIS SHOES.
Why was this letter sent out to all jewish houses in lakewood?
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : March 20, 2009 4:23 PM
: March 20, 2009 4:23 PM
I am considered a regular normal bais yaakov girl and guess what
I was once molested by a bochur.
My friends brother.
I have moved on and tried to live a normal life.His sister told me that he molested her all the time.This girl got married I am very worried about her.
Baruch Hashem I have an excellent relationship with my parents otherwise I would have never told them- IT TOOK ME FIVE YEARS TO TELL THEM.Now this pig of a bochur is in shidduchim it makes me sick.
Molestors are not just kindergarden teachers, and rebbeim,Moras,Principals,and yes they can be women- they can be good little bochurim-they can be considered the best bochurim that every girl wants to date.I want to ruin this pigs name but I can't it is very painfull for me to talk about it.
On this chaptzem blog it is the first time that I have ever mentioned it other than to my parents that one time.
I am writing this because I want evrybody to know what goes on and to know where your children are at all times.
I am crying as I am typing this I hope to all the victims out there that Hashem gives you the stregnth to go on as he has given me.
To all those peole out there if you know of people/teachers/rebbeim or bochurim go over privatley to a trusted person who will do something about the molestor/abuser/rapist.
The Yeshiva bochur that once molested me is considered the top,good middos,the best yeshiva ect. nobody in a billion years would ever belive it.
I was once molested by a bochur.
My friends brother.
I have moved on and tried to live a normal life.His sister told me that he molested her all the time.This girl got married I am very worried about her.
Baruch Hashem I have an excellent relationship with my parents otherwise I would have never told them- IT TOOK ME FIVE YEARS TO TELL THEM.Now this pig of a bochur is in shidduchim it makes me sick.
Molestors are not just kindergarden teachers, and rebbeim,Moras,Principals,and yes they can be women- they can be good little bochurim-they can be considered the best bochurim that every girl wants to date.I want to ruin this pigs name but I can't it is very painfull for me to talk about it.
On this chaptzem blog it is the first time that I have ever mentioned it other than to my parents that one time.
I am writing this because I want evrybody to know what goes on and to know where your children are at all times.
I am crying as I am typing this I hope to all the victims out there that Hashem gives you the stregnth to go on as he has given me.
To all those peole out there if you know of people/teachers/rebbeim or bochurim go over privatley to a trusted person who will do something about the molestor/abuser/rapist.
The Yeshiva bochur that once molested me is considered the top,good middos,the best yeshiva ect. nobody in a billion years would ever belive it.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : April 24, 2009 3:03 PM
: April 24, 2009 3:03 PM
i was molested by my brother for more than eight years and i know exactly how you feel and how shua felt and how everyone else who was molested and raped feels like. we feel dirty, disgusting. like we are used goods. we are so confused with ourselves because we dont understand it and we blame ourselves for everything that happened to us. but we cant talk about it. we dont have the power to open our mouths because of the shame. the pain. the suffering. who will believe us? noone talks about these things. and if they do it's all considered bad. i went through HELL because of my brother. i had massive emotionall and physical symtoms that have plagued me for the past six years of my life. how can anyone in the right mind DENY THAT THESE THINGS HAPPEN?? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY YEARS OF SUFFERING I WENT THROUGH BECAUSE OF THIS. DO YOU KNOW HOW PHSYCOLOGICLY RUINING THIS IS TO THE PERSON WHO IS MOLESTED? AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY DOZENS AND DOZENS OF INNOCENT CHILDREN ARE RUINED FOR LIFE EVERY SINGLE YEAR? this is my BROTHER!! walking around looking like he's a regular normal nice erlicha guy, but you know what? he should stop trying so hard because he's BURNING IN HELL for what he did to me.
us innocent people, we, we have to suffer the rest of our lives with the shame. i HATE you whoever doesnt open theyre eyes. i HATE YOU. bec if you dont open your eyes all those other children will suffer the way i did. and noone needs that to happen. noone can understand the emoitional and physical horrendous pain there is in my life because of this. you can only understand this if you went through it yourself. and if you didnt go through it and you stand by watching while keeping your mouths shut, shame on you. and go to hell. bec you have the power to stop this terrable distruction. and you arent. SHAME ON YOU!!!
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us innocent people, we, we have to suffer the rest of our lives with the shame. i HATE you whoever doesnt open theyre eyes. i HATE YOU. bec if you dont open your eyes all those other children will suffer the way i did. and noone needs that to happen. noone can understand the emoitional and physical horrendous pain there is in my life because of this. you can only understand this if you went through it yourself. and if you didnt go through it and you stand by watching while keeping your mouths shut, shame on you. and go to hell. bec you have the power to stop this terrable distruction. and you arent. SHAME ON YOU!!!
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : December 28, 2010 2:27 AM
: December 28, 2010 2:27 AM
