Thursday, June 01, 2023
Jewish Singer Lipa Schmeltzer’s Revelation of Being Abused Will Save Lives
Famed Hasidic singer Lipa Schmeltzer has brought joy to countless fans, with lively performances, wildly creative videos, and boundless energy.
Having met him a few times, it is immediately clear you will not find someone with a purer heart than Schmeltzer, who cancelled a planned concert for Madison Square Garden after a document from rabbis circulated in February 2008 that it would be forbidden.
During his recent video, in which he announced that he was in touch with his feelings before Shavuot, he said that he began therapy in 2006, and a therapist betrayed his confidence and broke confidentiality.
Schmeltzer, one of the most popular figures in Jewish music history, said plainly in his video message: "If I could save one soul, if I could change one person's life, then this is what I want to do."
He says he has experienced every type of abuse. Many victims of abuse fear reporting it — either because they think people will not believe them, or because they think it will destroy their career, or hurt their relationship with family members.
Too often, people emulate the negative behavior of celebrities, whether it's being superficial, focusing on money, cursing, searching for fame, or simply being fake. As he says in the video, he is at the top of his game and doesn't need more attention, so this is not an attempt to get publicity. It's both to help him heal, but to inspire others to speak out.
Schmeltzer is so brave to do what he has done and should be admired for it.
I am sure people told him not to reveal what happened to him, fearing negative consequences. But we only have one soul, or neshama, and anyone who is truly a Jew, will understand that we must follow the path of justice, which includes inspiring victims of abuse to come forward.
While some will no doubt want him to name his abuser, the person may no longer be living or it may be better for the singer's own healing to not publicly name the person.
"My business is one thing and I'm a human being, let's judge less," he says.
People handle the trauma of abuse differently. Not all become music stars. Lipa knows this and cares about the stories of people who either never come forward with the truth, or do so and are not believed. The result is that some survivors have a range of psychological problems, where at the mildest, they struggle in their own relationships, and at the worst, they become suicidal.
There is a notion among people who strictly follow the rules of their religion, whether it is Judaism, Christianity, Islam, or other religions, that abuse is something that will stain the family name so one should not come forward. This is quite a difficult wall to break.
But that's not true. If there is abuse, there is no excuse.
One cannot say that reporting abuse is an attack against any community. It's an attack against the person being abused, and any distraction or qualification only further serves to attack the abused.
Schmeltzer says he is single and something is blocking him from moving forward in a relationship. May he find peace and freedom to move forward. I have no doubt that his words will inspire others to live real lives, with honor, integrity, and justice.
I wish Lipa would have said "there is no excuse for abuse," but perhaps he will do that in another video.
May he have a concert in Madison Square Garden, if that is what he wants, and may his message go out to as many souls as possible.
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