Chaptzem Blog!      

Great point I hope people read this and take it serious I am a young guy in therapy and its so much more difficult bec no one is supportive of it.

 

this post will definitely open up a 'can of worms' amongst those realistic people in our community and the ones in denial who still think jews are made of some infallible blood.
reality is - people in every community come in all shapes and forms and our community is no different. there are people who are dishonest, there are people who are depressed and there are people who are wonderful.
the fact that at least we are AWARE of mental illness and are finally realizing that it actually exists is step one. now we need to move to step two - cut the stigma attached to counseling, therapy, etc. it is just as though someone else has a physical illness and takes medication.

 

Please don't assume that you know anything about a specific case. Please don't make a baseless decision that no one was helping him, no one cared about him, and he was left on his own. It simply isn't true. The fact remains that suicidal people can commit suicide even if they ARE being helped - therapy is not a miracle. Yes, it is IMPERITIVE, NECESSARY, AND CRUCIAL to provide members of our community who are suffering with the help and support that they need, and yes EVERYONE must be made aware of this fact, but to assume that the wonderful family and friends of this boy turned a blind eye to his troubles is completely and totally wrong.

No one has denied that the tragic accident was a suicide, and no one in the community in which it happened is expecting everyone - especially the bachurim - 'get over it' 'pretend it was an accident' or 'move on.' Everyone knows what really happened, and the pain, sharp as sword, has awoken mechanchim and parents from within the community to open their eyes, very fast.

However, has it not occured to you that maybe the details of the accident were not published on public websites because of respect and sensitivity to the family of the boy? Do you think that they are not going through enough pain and turmoil that they need us, fellow community members, to plaster what everyone knows all over the town???

The websites SPECIFICALLY did not publish the details because they care about the family. Causing extra pain to this family is NOT going to accomplish anything positive.

 

You are sicker and more callous than I originally thought!
The point of the complaints were the way the headlines were posted, not trying to hide the fact that it MIGHT have been intentional. Other sites also hinted that there was no criminality - but where is the sensitivity to the family? They are grappling with this pain, and so are we all, it doesn't have to be shoved in our faces - we can do it in an eidel way.
Yes, there is sickness and depression in all areas of the community - let's start the healing by being gentle and kind
A gut gebentched yur

 

Chaptzem:

No one denies there is mental illness in the Jewish community. Therapists like Rabbi Twersky claim it is rampant. But people suffering from depression are not child molesters and even you cannot claim that there was any benefit in sharing someone's private illness with the public.

And if you really want to do an article on mental illness, don't forget to include your picture as Exhibit A.

 

SIMPLY THE POINT THAT YOU BRING THIS ISSUE ON THE AGENDA NOW PROOVES THAT YOU HAVE THE LATEST EVENT IN MIND HOWEVER WHAT MAY NOT BE KNOWN TO YOU IS THAT THIS WAS A TROUBLED INDIVIDUAL WHO WAS GOING FOR HELP AND AS FAR AS I HEARD HAD JUST BEEN RELEASED ON OR AROUND THAT DATE FROM A FACILITY SO JUST SHUT-UP WITH TRYING TO BRING UP YOUR CONTOVERSIAL TOPICS TO RAISE YOUR READERSHIP!

 

why are you all so aggresive with Chaptzem?? What are you all trying to cover ??

No name was mentioned and those who know, know and those who don't , don't.

Fact is - in particular in the Chassidishe and frumeh kraizen more attention need to be given to mental issues by everyone and in particular the mechanchim.

there is too much callousness and insensitivity to too many things that bring about or even worse create the kind of depression that would lead some to R"L.

Many of us should think twice before we speak of someone or how we speak to them and in particular when they're down and the list goes on.

 

studies show that 1 person in 4 in the USA is suffering from mental illness. Look at your 3 closest friends. If they are okay ......

 

a big issue with reportign these storeis is there may be copycats, "o thats a good way to do it" "other people did it why not me"....... speak to those who know this stuff they can tell you its better not to report "bochur jumps in front of train"

 

To all of you who are concerned about the family I don't know if you are familiar with the the Jewish law in regard to people who commit suicide you should know that the person's supposed to be buried in a separate part of the cemetery don't you think that must have been embarrassing for the family perhaps but as a Jew people followed the law with out asking questions. to day however the person is not buried separately the poskim say that a person who commits suicide has the status of a sick person as depression is very common now that shows they thought it was an issue no one pointed fingers at the family in fact the only one who are making it difficult for the family and more importantly for the individual who suffers from mental illness are people like you who say we have to keep quite because you are in essence saying its something to be embarrast of and we must hide... no one said the fault is on the parents in fact most parents are not at fault because they are totally ignorant of how to deal with a troubled child the fault lies on the community on a whole who try to push it under the rug every time it happens. Now to those of you who are concerned that a another person will repeat this because they read about you are giving less credit to people who are depressed they are totally aware of the option and have herd of it I mean come on how shallow are you do you think some news story can have more of an impact on a person then his friends family no way so go make a difference and instead of sitting on line and posting comments reach out to people who seem troubled.

 

Chaptzem,

The Baltimore jewish Times quoted you and UOJ re: Rabbbi Eisenmann and Ner Israel. Check out UOJ's blog.

 

he can be buried like a regular person because he was considered crazy, people were trying to help him he was seeing doctors.

 

BS'D

Though the timing of this article may be unfortunate, and troublesome, it is a very important issue that must be raised.

Throughout our community, there are many, many very good people who could benefit from therapy. Seeking therapy or counseling from a professional does not mean you have a "Mental Illness"! It only means you are smart enough to see you can use some help coping, or guidance though a rough time.

However, if it came out that they were seeing a Mental Health Professional, it would damage their own, their siblings' and/or their children's chances for a good shiduch.

That is why most do not seek the correct help. Many simply ask their family doctor to give them a prescription for "nerves" or "depression" .... This is only like putting a Band Aid on the chest of someone having a heart attack.

Therapy by a trained professional can help and often cure the person by treating the source of the problem. Drugs sometimes treat only the symptoms while often allowing the problems to worsen inside the person.

There is no quick and easy solution. To seek the correct and best help can severely damage themselves or their family, (killing a family member's chance of a shidduch is a serious thing) while failing to get this help can result in an unnecessarily dismal like, or chas v'shuloim in tragedy.

The most important thing we all must know, teach and spread throughout the community, is that having a relative that is seeking help should not shad for a shidduch.

In fact, I would rather my daughters or sons marry a person getting help, than one sweeping the problem under the table.
Most people can benefit from the help of a professional at least once or twice in their lives. This is a good thing, not a bad thing.

People who go through the therapy process usually come out the other side healthier and better people.
They will make better wives and husbands.

Please let's break down the stigma attached to this.

Would we avoid a shidduch with someone went to a doctor to have a broken leg casted? Of course not.

Mental "illness" is similar. It is usually totally "fixed" by working with a qualified, therapist.

Of course, one should seek a frum qualified therapist, and there are such. There need to me more, though.

And, no, I am not talking about a rov who has no training in counseling. In their best well-intentioned attempts, they often do more harm than good.

Please, let's all stop thinking bad about those who are smart enough to seek help for their emotional problems.

By removing this stigma, Chareidi people will feel free to seek help when they need it.

This will saves lives, in more ways than one.

Thank you for listening, and have a Gitten Shabbos and a Chasiva V'Chasima Toiva,

Avruhom Yehida

 

The reason why they are buried outside the jewish cemetery because they weren't jewish to begin with if you take a look in their backround you will find that there was a ger or giyores

 

2:33, were you referring to dovid hamelech? You sound like a retard! why don't you jump in front of a train or something!!

 

all these comments proves the point- there are alot of crackpots in our community