Sunday, November 15, 2009
Suicide groom twist
A Brooklyn newlywed who jumped to his death from a hotel balcony the night after his wedding was tormented by memories of being sexually molested as a Jewish student, sources say.
After joyfully singing and dancing at their lavish celebration in Williamsburg on Nov. 3, Motty Borger, 24, bared his secret anguish to his bride, Mali Gutman, the next day -- and the revelation caused a strain, a source close to the family told The Post.
"That entire day he discussed it with her. He told her the story of his life, how he felt so awful and he couldn't go near her," the source said. The couple had met just last July, after a matchmaker set them up.
"When he got married, he realized he couldn't face up to it, and he told his wife that he needed help."
The stunned bride responded, "So, why did you marry me?"
Borger reportedly answered, "You are absolutely right. It was not right of me to get married."
At 6:45 a.m., while Mali slept, Borger climbed a railing outside their seventh-floor room at Avenue Plaza Hotel and leaped, police say. He died hours later at a hospital.
Friends insist that Borger -- described as fun-loving, smiling and cheerful -- wouldn't take his own life.
"I know Motty, and I know he didn't jump. It was an accident," one said. The rabbi who spoke at his funeral called reports of suicide "wickedness."
A security video at the hotel shows him looking "agitated" in an elevator with his wife, cops said.
The city Medical Examiner ruled his death a suicide. The NYPD is investigating the sex-abuse allegations, said a police official.
A source familiar with the tragedy said Borger had confided in close relatives that he was molested while a teen attending a yeshiva, possibly by a rabbi, but they never went to police.
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/suicide_groom_twist_pa15C1Z5nGPyHIYj18xCNI
After joyfully singing and dancing at their lavish celebration in Williamsburg on Nov. 3, Motty Borger, 24, bared his secret anguish to his bride, Mali Gutman, the next day -- and the revelation caused a strain, a source close to the family told The Post.
"That entire day he discussed it with her. He told her the story of his life, how he felt so awful and he couldn't go near her," the source said. The couple had met just last July, after a matchmaker set them up.
"When he got married, he realized he couldn't face up to it, and he told his wife that he needed help."
The stunned bride responded, "So, why did you marry me?"
Borger reportedly answered, "You are absolutely right. It was not right of me to get married."
At 6:45 a.m., while Mali slept, Borger climbed a railing outside their seventh-floor room at Avenue Plaza Hotel and leaped, police say. He died hours later at a hospital.
Friends insist that Borger -- described as fun-loving, smiling and cheerful -- wouldn't take his own life.
"I know Motty, and I know he didn't jump. It was an accident," one said. The rabbi who spoke at his funeral called reports of suicide "wickedness."
A security video at the hotel shows him looking "agitated" in an elevator with his wife, cops said.
The city Medical Examiner ruled his death a suicide. The NYPD is investigating the sex-abuse allegations, said a police official.
A source familiar with the tragedy said Borger had confided in close relatives that he was molested while a teen attending a yeshiva, possibly by a rabbi, but they never went to police.
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/suicide_groom_twist_pa15C1Z5nGPyHIYj18xCNI
Comments:
I heard this a week ago from reliable sources. Last night I listened to the appeal from the father which was broadcast on several other blogs. My reaction was Nebach on the family and the father, but sorry I disagree. Making peace with people who wronged you is not the answer here. The answer is brutal justice. The molester of this Chasan is a Rotzeach, literally and figuratively. There are obviously more cases like this out there. Lets stop the denial once and for all and actually do something to prevent this kind of tradgedy from happening in the future. Zero tolerance for Molesters or for any situation that can allow a molester to operate including poor supervision and oversite in the schools,camps, and shuls. Additionally the leaders must do everything possible to remove the stigma of seeking help and publicly addressing this issue with honesty and openness, non stop until it is solved.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by 
: November 15, 2009 11:07 PM
: November 15, 2009 11:07 PM
"I know Motty, and I know he didn't jump. It was an accident," one said. The rabbi who spoke at his funeral called reports of suicide "wickedness." The RABBI IS AN ASSHOLE !!!
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : November 16, 2009 9:06 AM
: November 16, 2009 9:06 AM
Gut gezugt.I too was perturbed at what the father had to say. Yes, of course we should all try to make sholom with our friends and neighbors but we need to route out the bad people in our midst. I was expecting him to say, "let his death not go in vain". Let us learn what can happen to a boy or girl that is molested. Lets not roll it under the rug. Let us go out and talk to our children and explain to them how to react to someone who touches them improperly. It does not matter whether it is a rebbe, counslor, principle or friend. I am waiting for Mr. Borger to announce that he will work together with authorities to put those responsible behind bars.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : November 16, 2009 11:28 AM
: November 16, 2009 11:28 AM
Who is the ahole, I mean rabbi, who spoke at his funeral and said it is wickedness to call this a suicide? Anybody know his name?
This poor soul and his poor kallah and the poor families.OY.
Just my opinion but I don't think a suicide under these kind of circumstances is the same as that mentioned in Halacha. Clearly the mental distress and anguish over here was so overpowering that an act of suicide in this context can not be considered and act made with forthought and Bechira Chofshis. In fact I think it is correct to say that any suicide stemming from mental illness such as depression is not the classic type of suicide mentioned in halacha. For a Rov to refer to rumors of a suicide as wickedness -with the implication that there is something disparaging about the niftar if in fact it was a suicide- is just plain stupid, wrong, and demonstrative of ignorance in both halacha and saichel. We are all guilty to some extent for contributing to an atmosphere where a yid, a sweet young person, feels so desperate that he has no one and no where to turn but to do such a thing. How many other desperate souls are out there? How many other cover ups are out there preventing us from addressing and fixing the problem?
This poor soul and his poor kallah and the poor families.OY.
Just my opinion but I don't think a suicide under these kind of circumstances is the same as that mentioned in Halacha. Clearly the mental distress and anguish over here was so overpowering that an act of suicide in this context can not be considered and act made with forthought and Bechira Chofshis. In fact I think it is correct to say that any suicide stemming from mental illness such as depression is not the classic type of suicide mentioned in halacha. For a Rov to refer to rumors of a suicide as wickedness -with the implication that there is something disparaging about the niftar if in fact it was a suicide- is just plain stupid, wrong, and demonstrative of ignorance in both halacha and saichel. We are all guilty to some extent for contributing to an atmosphere where a yid, a sweet young person, feels so desperate that he has no one and no where to turn but to do such a thing. How many other desperate souls are out there? How many other cover ups are out there preventing us from addressing and fixing the problem?
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : November 16, 2009 3:06 PM
: November 16, 2009 3:06 PM
I am speaking from experience. I was also molested as a bochur, several decades ago. One of them was considered such a choshuve guy, and i still laugh whenever i hear about his tzidkus (he is long gone). When I got married, it never ocurred to me that i need to jump, so this whole theory is utter baloney. Besides, this whole thing comes from Nuchem Rosenberg, who is the filth of the earth, and has zero credibility. (I have known him 30+ years, so I should know)
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : November 16, 2009 4:17 PM
: November 16, 2009 4:17 PM
Just cause the a hole NUCHEM ROSENBERG casll the post, and they like gulliable schmucks eat the story does NOT mean its TRUE
this is a BS story from NUCHEM ROSENBERG YM"S and he will burn in HELL for disperaging MOTY .... MOTY should rest in peace and this mamazer nuchem rosenberg shall get his punishment
yes there is sexual abuse in our community but dont make up stories to fit your agenda
this is a BS story from NUCHEM ROSENBERG YM"S and he will burn in HELL for disperaging MOTY .... MOTY should rest in peace and this mamazer nuchem rosenberg shall get his punishment
yes there is sexual abuse in our community but dont make up stories to fit your agenda
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : November 16, 2009 5:03 PM
: November 16, 2009 5:03 PM
Who is the Rosenberg who contributed to the article? Anything to do with Nuchem Rosenberg?
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : November 16, 2009 5:30 PM
: November 16, 2009 5:30 PM
The discussion is not about the technicalities of suicide it in halacha.
I hope that the community can salvage something worthwhile from this tragedy. The awareness that abuse has deep impact and far reaching consequences should be nurtured to grow to the point of being effective. The past few years of discussion have only contributed to awareness, but nothing constructive. We still watch rabbonim etc. squelching any thought of reporting even the most horrific abuse situations. We still watch these rabbonim believing the denials of the suspects, and then dismissing complaints of children. They only change when the victim is someone in their close family. I wish we could use past events to learn from, and we should be free of any further tragedies of abuse and its terrible consequences.
I hope that the community can salvage something worthwhile from this tragedy. The awareness that abuse has deep impact and far reaching consequences should be nurtured to grow to the point of being effective. The past few years of discussion have only contributed to awareness, but nothing constructive. We still watch rabbonim etc. squelching any thought of reporting even the most horrific abuse situations. We still watch these rabbonim believing the denials of the suspects, and then dismissing complaints of children. They only change when the victim is someone in their close family. I wish we could use past events to learn from, and we should be free of any further tragedies of abuse and its terrible consequences.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : November 16, 2009 6:25 PM
: November 16, 2009 6:25 PM
Anonymous : November 16, 2009 9:06 AM
why publicize such a sad & embarrassing to the family event?
why publicize such a sad & embarrassing to the family event?
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : November 16, 2009 8:09 PM
: November 16, 2009 8:09 PM
Those of you who have trouble with Rosenberg refuse to understand the story of what happened to young Mutty and how his life was over from those moments long ago. Call all the names you want but to the molester, not to the crier.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : November 16, 2009 8:41 PM
: November 16, 2009 8:41 PM
Enough with the BS attacks on anyone pointing out the truth. The NYC Medical Examiner ruled the death a suicide.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : November 16, 2009 9:02 PM
: November 16, 2009 9:02 PM
Adding to the first comment and not to Chas Veshalom judge the terrible ordeal the Borgers are experiencing, we should take a page from the suicide story from Lakewood a year ago and help others who may be headed down that awful road as a result of sexual abuse.
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : November 16, 2009 11:40 PM
: November 16, 2009 11:40 PM
If this story is true, then this person who molested this chosson should be tried and hanged on 13 ave right in front of the hotel , the ropes should hang from that 6th story balcony gate
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : November 17, 2009 1:17 PM
: November 17, 2009 1:17 PM
"The city Medical Examiner ruled his death a suicide". ON WHAT EVIDENCE?
Comment Credit ---This article posted by : November 17, 2009 3:09 PM
: November 17, 2009 3:09 PM
I am curious which schools the niftar attended, any of those we have heard so much about...?
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Comment Credit ---This article posted by : November 17, 2009 4:45 PM
: November 17, 2009 4:45 PM
