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Thursday, February 12, 2009

Why the video of the little girl and the kitchen mess is inexcusable 

The video of the girl that wrecked her parents' kitchen attracted a lot of attention and garnered a lot of reader comments. Some of the commenters are ready to rip the father to shreds and others think what he did was cute.

Here is why what he did was completely inexcusable.

Whether the child was at home all by herself or whether someone else was somewhere in the house is irrelevant. The fact is this child was left completely usupervised long enough that she was able to completely destroy the entire kitchen. From the looks of things that did not happen in just a couple of minutes. A kitchen is not a safe place for a child to be all by herself and have free and full reign. Had there been an adult nearby they would have stopped this chaos before it ever got this bad.

Next, there is no excuse for calling a child a retard. To all the commenters who have anything nice to say about the father, this negates it all.

Further, no sane person will tell you to discipline a child by standing behind a camera and videotaping what they did. If the father wanted to make a point of the mess, he could have done so by taking her by the hand and showing her what she did wrong. If he really wanted it all on video, he could have done so without his daughter in the room. The father instead walks around the room behind the camera laughing at and mocking his daughter. He makes fun of her speech, of what she did and then to embarrass her even more makes her talk to the camera.

Whether this video was meant for the whole world to see or not is completely irrelevant. The fact is the whole world did see it. If it was truly a really private video it would have stayed that way. Someone obviously didn't care enough to protect their daughter from public humiliation, or maybe they enjoy it.

This father obviously has some very serious issues and needs to rethink the way he disciplines his children. What was evidenced on this lone short video clip is enough to showcase behavior that in the least borders very closely on neglect and abuse.

So to all the commenters who think this video is so cute and that it's just so ok, please get help and take this father along with you.

Comments:
You really crack me up. Like you are the authority on parenting! LOL!

Have you ever dealt with a kid that has ADHD??? Do you even know the definiton to the acronym?

Anyone that deals with these kids know that this mess happens in seconds. How long do you think it takes for a kid to open the fridge and empty its contents if you dont care about the contents spilling onto the floor???

The child, as is obvious, is not only not embarrassed of the video, but LOVES seeing it replayed. She is not your average child and the typical rules are not applicable.

Your fellow bloggers cant hold their tongues for a moment, and you hold the father accountable for saying retard in a loving tone, almost in the same breathe as he expresses his love to her. Wow you sure do live by double standards.

And yes, the whole world did see this video thanks to none other than you. Here's a petition to remove this video as well as their disaraging comments.

Thank you.

 

Bravo!

 

ADHD: Attention Deficeit Hyperactivity Disorder. Commonly mistaken or even equated with ADD, which is not the same thing (Attention Deficeit Disorder). ADHD is often misdiagnosed in young children between the ages of 6-12 because the child often has too much attention. They are not deficeit in it, rather, they have the impulsive need to pay attention to everything around them. For the record, even though a formal observation cannot be made here, this child does not seem to exhibit signs of ADHD or even ADD for that matter.

Loving attention from a video is something that any child will enjoy. This is not any child. This is a child that will never have the same form of normal life that many children grow up to have, and this video will follow her for the rest of her life. However, a normal child would have run from the humiliation of the names, tone, and comments that the father used. Obviously, this is not the case here. This man is disgusting.

You know, the beauty of anonymity is that people who really are authorities on parenting and other subjects related to children, can come here, and without censure from those they know, speak freely and make an opinionated point.
Happens to be, I am somewhat of an authority on childrens behavior. I the author of the original post however, and would like to add a few things. The child's hair, where she is bakd, is not ripped out, it was shaved. Hair that is ripped out leaves white spots because the hair is taken by the root. The area where the child has no hair is from something else entirely (unless it was ripped out long ago and is now growing back). Second, there were knives in that kitchen, that were obviously easily accessible to the child. Big mistake. One day, someone might accidentally tak a knife to do something nasty to dad... which may not be a bad thing in my opinion... and third of all, now that the world knows who this child is, she has no chance of any semblance of any type of life outside being the "child in the video". Regardless of whether or not she was normal to begin with, this video completely ruins that for her. Thanks dad.

Well, I don't know who this man is, but I sincerely hope that I one day find out. He and I should talk...

 

Why it is inexusable to post the video here.

You make it even worse by making the video available to a large public.

So I think whoever puts & keeps the video on a public post is to blame even more than the father, because it makes "the shame of the child" even more public.

I agree with you that the father should not have taken this video in the presence of his daughter. I agree that the daughter does not seem to like being askded "who was it" in front of the camera or being forced to say "good bye camera".

However, you also feel the despair of parents who do not seem to have an easy life.

 

Anon 12:42

Your an asshole. Obviuosly you are connected to this some way.
Go to hell.

You deserve to be locked up in prison along with the father, or better yet, you probably are the father and want to protect your ass from connecting with someone in jail.

NO PARENT CALLS THEIR CHILD A RETARD. NO PARENT VIDEOTAPES A CHILD WHO IS UNWELL FOR PURPOSES OF RIDICULE, UNLESS THEY ARE CRUEL or ABUSIVE!

Nice try.

The father is an animal pure and simple. Somebody needs to give him a beatdown.

 

I don't see anything wrong with taking a video of a mess your child made. mpst people find it cute. I don't know why you (Cahptzem) have takenn uon yourself to villify a parent who displays nothing but love in his voice. It's pathetic that not only did you post this video for the whole world to see, (and bash the father, when they haven't the slightest clue as to what is going on), but you also defend those people in a seperate post. I don't see the father trying to discipline his child in the video. Now I know you are going to say that he should discipline her. 1- you don't know that he didn't after the video was over, and 2- you can't tell people how to discipline their child. Every child is different and one has to knwo the circumstances. A three minute video doesn't let you know the circumstances.
Please Chaptzem! get a real job. I do have one. I felt that it was important for me to take 5 minutes from my job to tell you to get one. I'm doing it for your own good. Whats the matter you don't like when someone tells you how to run your life?

 

Shame on chaptzem for keeping this video posted. And for all you bloggers that hold yourselfs so frum and are so intrested in fixing the world should look in the mirror and see what they are doing being motzei shaim ra on a situation they don't even know about . One thing I do know about you bloggers is that filthy language and comments show the world what you sick people are all about. May hashem send the girl a refuah shlaima and be zocha to bring much nachas to her parents and klal Yisroel

 

APARENTLY THIS CHILD IS BEING NOT ONLY NEGLECTED BUT ALSO ABUSED. NEGLECTED: BY BEING ALLOWED TO STAY IN A KITCHEN ALL BY HERSELF, WHICH IS A DANGEROUS PLACE, ABUSED: BY CALLING HER A RETARD, BY VIDEOTAPING THIS INCIDENT, BY POSTING IT ON A BLOG FOR THE PUBLIC TO SEE, AND BY MOCKING HER ACTIONS WHICH SHE PROBABLY WAS NOT ABLE TO CONTROL.
THESE CHILDREN HAVE FEELINGS. I AM A PARENT AND GRANDPARENT MY HEART GOES OUT TO THIS CHILD.
IF ANYBODY KNOWS WHO THIS CHILD IS, PLEASE REPORT THESE PARENTS TO ONE OF THE CHILD PROTECTIVE HOTLINES OR CHILD AUTHORITIES.
THERE ARE MANY CHILDLESS COUPLES OUT THERE WHO WOULD GIVE THIS CHILD A BETTER HOME.

 

A video of any single one of us at those times when we're not dealing well with our children when we're under stress would look just as bad. Every single parent does that. A good parent just does it rarely.

This guy was stupid enough to tape it, but that by itself doesn't make him so much worse of a parent than anyone else.

 

I'm directing this to the Anonymous poster of 11:03AM -- do you actually consider the tone of voice the father used to be "loving"? To me it had the phony sweet sound of someone who is very angry but is keeping it underneath the surface for the moment (and probably for the camera). I found it creepy.

 

I found it sounded angry and a bit desperate under the surface, but sweet on the outside, so that the he would not yell on the child:

He comes home, finds the kitchen in this state, is shocked/annoyed/angry, but he knows that he cannot blame it on the child, so it does not help if he yells at her.

So he copes by taking the camera and filming it and trying to see a humorous aspect in it.

I think this is quite a respectable act of anger-management.

On the other hand, I agree with you: probably the child did not like to be "told off" this way, even if it sounded very sweet.

I suppose that one encouters similar difficulties when caring for Alzheimer patients (in an advanced stadium) = they make a total mess, a bit like this one, but they are not responsible, so the cannot really be blamed. And still the mess is there.

So what could be done? It's really not easy to handle.

 

Just tell the child that she is RETARTED. This solves the entire anger problem!
Well done!

 

FOR ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO DEFE3ND THIS FATHER & HIS LOVING SWEET VOICE
"ASK ANY WIFE THAT GETS BEATEN UP BY HER HUSBAND HOW HE SWEET TALKS HER BEFORE & AFTER "
MOST EVIL PEOPLE HAVE SWEET VOICES
WHEN YOU CALL YOUR CHILD A RETARD JOKE OR NO THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN
SAY OR DO AFTER TO MAKE IT BETTER
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE CHILD THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF COUPLES WHO WILL TAKE IN A CHILD FOR FREE !!!

 

I agree 100% with what you said, Chaptzem.

 

Without knowing the father I cannot fairly comment if he is an abusive faher or a loving one, but there is something very wrong with the mentality that it is acceptable to call a child a retard. No child should ever be called so.

 

Chaptzem I think you did a service to the community by posting the video. This video was already watched by thousands around the world on you-tube. The content of it is serious and can't be ignored....it needs to be looked at, discussed and understood. As a mental health professional watching the video I got the distinct feeling that the father who seems immature and very angry was blaming the child for being retarded. It does seem that the child has some sort of condition or issues and he is throwing it into her face. The message underlying his words is, "You see what I have to deal with, what I have to put up with. You are a retard, a nothing, someone that just does irrational and crazy things." There is no mention in any of his tirade that he might regret having left her alone all the blame was directed at her. He took none of the responsibility and it seems he is limited in his ability to be introspective. I hope someone in this little girl's life does love her and is more protective of her.

 

Plain and simple. The father should be hung. Why do people like these have children? Why do they even get married? What a LOSER!

 

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